Tuesday, August 12, 2014

In My Boat

Journal entry September 5,2013.
Luke 5:1-11 "Getting into one of the boats...he asked him to put out a short distance from the shore." Jesus is in me. In my boat. When he enters our boat He only asks for a little at first. Had Simon asked him to get out of his boat he would have. But Simon did as Jesus asked. I feel going on this talk show I've been asked to be on would be me asking Jesus to get out of my boat.
"put out into the deep waters and lower your nets for a catch." After Jesus sees Simon Peter's willingness to follow his request he asks more of him. He asks him to do something that Simon is unsure of but he does as Jesus asks and is rewarded with a bounty of fish.
If I follow Jesus he will send me out to fish in the deep. Fish for men in places, or at times, I may not think are ideal. He knows best. I can trust him to guide my boat to the best soul fishing spots.
"When they brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed Him." He's made himself known to me. I know he will lead me where he wants me and will use me there.
I will follow your will on the talk show opportunity and in everything else with your help Lord Jesus.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Talk Show Offer

This is from my journal the day after I was contacted about making an appearance on a talk show on September 5, 2013.. 
Collective Prayer "God...giver of every good gift...." Help me clearly see what is good and what's bad. Help me know what is from you and what isn't. What is from you and what is from our enemy. "keep safe what you have nurtured..." Your Holy Spirit has grown strong in me. I am a better carrier of your light to the world. Protect me from myself. From my ego that may become the bushel covering your light.
Colossians 1:9-14 "...filled with the knowledge of God's will...to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord." I must follow God's will for my life. I want to be filled with knowledge of what he wants for and from me. I want to be a good ambassador for Him in everything I do. Help me decrease as you increase. I want to be set apart from this world. Help me walk in a manner worthy of You. I want your will to be mine.
"So as to be fully pleasing, in every good work, bearing fruit and growing in the knowledge of God..." I must be sure that my words and actions produce good fruit. Every aspect of my life should be pleasing to him. 
I was tempted to go on this talk show but they wanted old me. Angry, bitter, confrontational me. I knew it wouldn't jive with what God wanted from me. I was still strongly tempted but God handled it and they never called me again. 
There are only two paths. Toward and away from Christ. This would have led me away. Thankfully He helped me stay on my current course. 

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Sugar Isn't Necessary...Truth Is

Mark 1:4-5 "John the Baptizer appeared in the wilderness..." He was not living among the people in the cities. He lived a strange life outside the population center. He was unusual. He stood in his strangeness. Didn't try to make people comfortable by being someone he wasn't. "preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins..." He didn't tell people what they wanted to hear. That they were fine the way they were living. That there sin was OK  He told the truth. "And there went out to him all of Judea, and all the people of Jerusalem." This strange man living out in the wilderness, wearing strange clothes and eating strange food while telling people of their need to repent from their sin drew throngs of people. Truth broke through many boundaries and the same is true today. People want truth. 
Help us to spread your truth in a loving way Lord Jesus. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

Seeing Change

Journal entry from September 3 2013.
I woke this morning to a dead car battery before Mass. Went to Mass anyways and stayed for morning prayer. Though I was irritated and distracted I stuck to my daily schedule. I maintained discipline. Before leaving to get the car fixed the desire to masturbate was strong and though I started to engage I stopped. After the battery was replaced I received an angry email from a friend. Though it upset me I addressed the truths in the email and prayed for the friend.
In the past just one of these things would have derailed my whole day. Thanks be to God for His work in my life and the grace He gave me to make good choices.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Crooked Path

Inspired by the meditation from The Magnificat Year of Faith Companion for September 2 "True faith takes us into the unknown. It calls for blind trust, it calls for profound humility and surrender. This is the real asceticism, the self denial that Jesus tells us is essential if we are to be His disciples." I can see the road ahead of me if I continue to be of the world. There are many signs and posts to let me know what's ahead. Now that I've chosen to follow Jesus things become less sure. I have to reach out, in my uncertainty, and know that He is in control. I have to take His hand and know that He has me on the right path. Surrender my need to feel in control and have knowledge of what may be to come.
Lord Jesus I trust you will keep me on the right path. Help me to trust you more.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Free Will

Inspired by the meditation from 24 Hours A Day for September 2. "if you will let Him..." Such a simple statement but so powerful. God will only do for us if we allow Him in to do what we need.
We love our free will until it gets us into trouble. Then we want Jesus to fix the problem with no effort on our part. Our free will means we are participants. If we choose to begin a habit we have to choose to stop it by exercising the free will we love so much. Choose to eat a little less, yell a little less, masturbate a little less and Jesus will meet us half way with the grace we need to make that change.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

God's Bounty

Psalm 27 "I believe that I shall see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living." I do not live a life of expectation of eternity with Christ. I strive to live actively with Him in this life. To see his goodness in the people I meet. To see His beauty in nature. To find His peace in the silence of my apartment or the Adoration chapel. To feel His love through the new friends He's graced me with. I don't have to anticipate the gifts God wants to give me. They are available to me each and every day if I am willing to receive them.
Luke 4:31-37 Jesus taught the people, healed them, cast out demons, raised the dead. He did all of these things while here with us. He didn't tell people to believe and then they'd be rewarded later. He shared the bounty with them as they lived their day to day lives.
Jesus, continue to keep my heart open to receiving  your love in all it's forms in this life.